Reminiscing

Reading the Hemihelp page on Facebook tonight, where parents are having to learn to deal with their childs' physio and inner embarrassments and frustrations has lead me to reminisce about my journey through my childhood and beyond with Hemiplegia.

I got my first splint at the age of 6, and I will always remember that I was taken out of school one day and I had the plaster of paris (the lushest feeling ever) done, to measure for my splint. I came into school the next day to gossip from the other kids that Steph was going to have a plastic leg and that I was going to be different to everyone else. That night I went home crying that I didn't want my splint because I was going to be different and everyone else was going to notice. The self consciousness was unbelievable, even at such an early age, and that was before I had the splint!

When I did get the splint, I found it uncomfortable to begin with and, although it had a very cool butterfly pattern on it, I didn't want to wear skirts when my splint would be shown or take my shoes off etc. My mum noticed, and bought me the "Hands up for Andi" book, which told the story of a girl who got a splint and who wanted to sell it because she was that embarrassed of it. Eventually she met her hero, who signed the splint and she kept it and loved it. The story told me to love my splint and love who I was so, eventually, the splint issue was overcome.

The next issue was that of the physio, surgeons and general health, which, in reality, is yet to be resolved. When I was younger, I had a great physio named Jane, who knew exactly how to get me to do my exercises, got me a hand splint which I needed, and made me feel accepted. Unfortunately, after around 6 months of her intervention, she left to become a police officer. After that, the physio's discharged me and didn't really get in touch with me.

Then, when I moved from the area of Newcastle into Sunderland when I was 16 years old, my doctor decided I needed a paediatric physio, which would help me get some new splints and exercise which was desperately needed. The physio in sunderland was called Mandy, and she was excellent. She referred me to my first surgeon who gave me a few bouts of botox, which helped to loosen my leg but had adverse effects on my fingers, and helped me overcome this.

As time wore on, I grew older, and eventually, I was too old for the physio to keep on their books, so when I was 20 years old, I was sadly discharged from the physio, but continued on with my first surgeon.

Then came the issues with my hip, and although my surgeon tried cortisone, steroid and local anaesthetic injections in my hip (very painful) nothing seemed to work and so he referred me on to my now Lower Limb Specialist, who, after one x-ray, found that I have Hip Dysplasia, which basically comes from my hip not forming properly as a child and then becoming deformed as my leg length was corrected at the age of 14. To fix this new problem, I needed a major operation to break my pelvis, and re-align my hip. Although, in hindsight, I probably wasn't ready to have this operation emotionally, I pushed ahead with it, and after it being cancelled and postponed for over 3 months after my original operation date, I had the operation to re-align my hip, learnt to walk again (with crutches) and started getting on with my life.

Is that everything? You may ask. No... the story continues...

 The day I thought I was on my feet was the day 6 months after my operation, when I had an appointment with my surgeon. I had been experiencing some pain in my hip, and the limb reconstruction physio wanted to get it looked at, and I thought that is was just a bit of bursitis, and after a few cortisone injections I would be as right as rain. Wrong. It turns out my hip had healed TOO well (how?!) and extra bone had formed on my hip, causing the screws to be in the wrong place and so causing all the pain. Another operation was needed.

This brings me to today. 3 months on Thursday since the second operation, I have had my 6 week check, and am back to work, living my life as best as I can, whilst trying to recover on the go. Although I don't think my hip will ever fully recover, I am hoping for the wasted muscle to be eventually built up, and for my legs to actually do what I tell them to in the future. I don't have a physio, so am just going on as I see fit, and hopefully this works.

In the meantime, I have been referred to an upper limb surgeon for my hand, as this has been well and truly neglected over the last 2 years due to the focus on my hip, and I will hopefully get this sorted eventually too.

My advise to all parents, or people with hemiplegia/any other disability, and they are struggling is that with age, you learn to accept your life the way it is dealt to you. No one is perfect, everyone has imperfections, ours is just a little more severe. We all struggle at times, some worse than others, and at different points in our lives, but believe me when I say life with Hemiplegia is OK, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Yes, at times I cry, get frustrated, hurt, but I always have the belief that things can only get better and the sun will shine.

I realise that this blog is one of the longest I have ever seen in my life, but if you have read this, I hope it gives you some insight into my life, and gives you hope that things will be OK as they are in the end, whatever the hurdles.

Thanks very much for reading, I'll write again soon.

xx

Cricket & Books

I'm going to do this blog a little differently today. Normally, when I blog, I tell you what I've done from Oldest to most Recent events, whereas this time, I'm pretty much going backwards. Here goes...

Cricket

This deserves a mention due to the first win of the County Championship season for Durham, which finished in 2 days and an innings.

We were pretty much down and out as soon as we started on Friday, when we were bowled out for 102 in the first innings. Middlesex managed to get about 70 ahead and then on the Saturday we were effectively 35/7 by the time it started to rain on Saturday afternoon. We were all hoping the rain would stop so as not to prolong the agony of being relegated so soon in the season after a disappointing season so far. Durham though held on and kept fighting. 2 tailenders managed to get 60 runs, we bowled them out and ended up winning with 15 runs spare.

Also in cricketing news, Michael Di Venuto has retired from County Cricket due to the fact that his body couldnt take anymore, and has returned to Tazmania. Such a sad loss of an incredible talent, however, to my delight, he left me a cricket top with my friend to give me before he left. I was completely gobsmacked and over the moon.


Books

Daddy by Danielle Steele

This is the latest book which I have read, which warrants a mention in my blog. This told a story of a man whose wife went back to school and pretty much left him high and dry with 3 young kids and all of life's ups and downs to contend with. It is simply a feel good book, which makes you appreciate all aspects of a family, whether it is Mums, Dads, siblings, spouses etc. The whole moral of the story is to stick together, which is a moral that me and Chris have always held close to us. Especially now, with us buying a house, Chris earning money, me fighting against all the health issues, sticking together is such an important message, and so would be my advise to anyone!

Short and Sweet

Just keeping this blog short and sweet.

I have been to the Drs today about my hand being tight, and, as I suspected, the surgeon I am already under is only a lower limb specialist, and so I have an appointment with the hand specialist at the end of september. Hopefully they can do something (I would even retry botox) to untighten my hand!

In other news, I also am still on a phased return to work.

Oh, and British Gas are terrible and we have now cancelled their boiler service for terrible service!!

Thats all.

In a bit

xx

Sarah Millican

Venue - Inside Out - Darlington - Last Night - 22nd July 2012

This was one of the best comedy show's I have ever been to. It was only £7 and was a gig for 4 comedian/comediennes to try out some new material on a small crowd which helps them to edit in time for the big arena tours.

The biggest name there was definitely Sarah Millican who appeared twice in the show, and she was accompanied by Gary Delaney, Sally Ann Hayward, and Jonathan Mayor.

The show started with Jonathan Mayor (who was like a mash up between Gok Wan and Alan Carr - his words) coming out, exaggerating his gayness and purposefully making you think "what the hell is he doing up there". He pointed out a straight man in the crowd he fancied and insulting a large man to the hilt. He, we learned, would be presenting the whole thing. Not a great start, but I'm glad we stayed with him...

Next came the first part of Sarah Millican's show. She is so sincere, and makes jokes about her geniune life, which makes it funnier because you can relate to it, and 9 times out of 10, the embarrassment she is describing, you have actually experienced more than once in your life.

Then it was time for the interval. Half an hour of sitting in a steaming hot room wasnt great, but after the great first performance of Sarah Millican, I certainly wasn't about to go anywhere.

Straight after the interval, Jonathan Mayor came back out with a copy of "Fifty Shades of Grey" and stated, in his very camp voice that it was "time for some literature". He then asked the audience what they thought of this book, and although I think it is terrible, I didn't have to guts to shout out. However... there were a few girls in there that had the guts to shout out that it was "like... amazing!!!" Commence, John Mayer ripping it to shreds! It was GENIUS! He started talking about how the 20yr old girl in there was asking "how" his "considerable length" would fit in her... and then started to imitate her giving him a blow job, which had everyone in creases. I think this was actually my favourite moment of the night.

After this genius "moment of the night" it was the turn of Gary Delaney. As I said earlier, this show was a bit of a practice run, so he actually turned up with a clip board, and ended up just reading out the jokes, but it suited him very well and added to his awkwardness, which he admitted to straight away. He started by taking the mick out of the fairy godmother in Cinderella, then started on the one liners, of which some of them toed the line but most of them were hilarious!

After he came on, Jonathan Mayor introduced Sally Ann Haywood. In my opinion, it was a bit flat, and seemed like she was "trying to get back on the horse" after losing her father last year. She started by giving us the story of when she had been to edinburgh and had a family emergency, and she managed to make us all laugh by telling us it looked like she was dissing the other comedian acts. Then it was as though she was reminiscing about her father instead of doing a bit of stand up. I'm sure she'll get there.

So the final part of Sarah Millican was upon us. Cracking stories about things from her dad to her cat to vibrators were thrown about, as well as house hunting and her boyfriend. As I said earlier lots of relatable, funny and real stories, which gave us all a laugh till 11.30pm.

We got home at midnight, well worth 7 quid. Recommend it to anyone who can get their hands on tickets.

Anyway, off to watch the soaps with a cup of tea (yes, i am a little addicted).

In a bit

xx

Team GB vs Brazil - Olympic Football..

Me and Chris at the Team GB vs Brazil Game

Full time score Team GB 0 - 2 Brazil

What can I say?

Team GB actually played well considering, Brazil were just too good! The likes of Hulk, Neymar and Marcelo were a complete joy to watch and made our class players such as Bellamy and Richards look like school boys who couldn't keep up!

The first goal was a mixture of outstanding passing by the Brazilians from a free kick when Oscar was fouled by Cleverley, and poor defence by the goalkeeper.

The second goal was a penalty, a clear foul by the expert Micah Richards, and Neymar drills it past Jason Steele. Joy to watch and a great Penalty.

One good thing that came out was the Team GB was the subsitution of James Steele and bringing on Ryan Bertrand. Where James Steele was flappy and was around the skill level of a schoolboy, the substitute made at least 4 world-class saves and prevented the Brazilians from scoring any further in the second half.

Overall, it was an amazing experience and I can now say I was part of the Olympics in London 2012.

Penalty that Neymar scored to put the Brazilian 0-2 up

The last few days...

Work finished on Wednesday for the week and I was so glad to be coming up to having a break. Busy isn't the word and I'm being relied on a hell of a lot considering I've only been back for 3 weeks after being off for 2 months, in which time anything could have changed. At least I could look forward to 4 days rest, or rather 4 days fun!

Yesterday, my sister came down to my house for the first time since I moved in. She brought the kids (4 years old and 9 months old) down who were generally as good as gold. They were sat watching Lion King, but the littlest one was very clingy due to either a cold or his teeth coming through. I loved having them down, and she said they'd come down again in a couple of weeks, so something to look forward to. I don' actually want my own kids at the moment (thankfully, chris agrees) as I don't think I could cope with Pregnancy and Children 24/7, so to have my 2 nephews, I feel like I'm not missing out on all the good bits.

Today, I had an early start. I had to drop Chris off at a slip road so that he could get to work (saves petrol) as I am going down there later on. This meant that I have about 6 hrs to kill, and so I'm sat on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle (i'm so glad my life aint that bad) before I get ready and sort myself out.

Later, I have an eyetest as my glasses are scratched to death, and its probably not doing my eye anynd then I'm going to watch the Olympic football at the Riverside stadium in Middlesbrough, Team GB vs Brazil! I'm really excited about this, as we are going to see some world class players from both teams. I'll let you all know tomorrow how the match goes, so watch this post.

In a bit

xx

The Island - Victoria Hislop - Great Book

PJ days always make me feel very reflective, so here it is.

The Island by Victoria Hislop

I have just finished reading this book, which was recommended by Chris's Mum after I let her know about the car crash that is Fifty Shades... What a difference this book is to that...

The basic plot is that there is a girl (Alexis) who has just finished university and has a bit of a strained relationship with her mother and is desperate to find out why her mother doesn't want to talk about her past. While she is on holiday with a man that she is expected to marry but  of whom she doesn't know her feelings for, she visits the home town of her mother  in Crete (with her mothers consent) and meets with a family friend who has agreed to tell her of her mother's ancestry and what this meant to her.

To cut the long story short, Alexis finds out that her ancestors have had a pretty hard life, which include 2 family members being banished to an Island for having leprosy, and the story of the Dr who found a cure. It also tells of Alexis's Grandmother being unfaithful to her husband and being murdered, causing her mother to be brought up by her aunt.

It was such a well researched book, and all of the characters were completely believable, which was so refreshing from the farce that is famous at the moment - Fifty Shades..

The reason I am reflective about this book is that it was about the exclusion of people for having a then untreatable disease, and then about the cure coming and how people welcomed them back into the community.

Although Hemiplegia isn't a "disease", I found that I was strangely comforted by the plot of this book. Sometimes, having what people class as an "invisible disability" - although if you look closer, it isn't at all invisible - can make you feel so excluded in the world, for example when people hand you change in a shop to the wrong hand, or when you struggle opening a can or cutting up food, but no one can physically see WHY my hand won't do what I'd like it to... The fact that in this book, people were reintegrated, made me very reflective about how accepted I am for me. I have a job which any other person could get, a boyfriend who has accepted me for who I am and I am getting on with my life... and you know what, I deserve every bit of it!

The only bit that I didn't really relate to, was when the cure was found, they were all overjoyed. Obviously, Leprosy causes so much pain, that of course if I had that, I would be eternally grateful for the cure, but as someone with Hemiplegia, I would never ask for a cure. Yes, the symptoms can be painful, and tiring, and confusing, and downright hard to comprehend sometimes, the whole of it is part of me, and I find it impossible to even imagine what I would be like without it. It defines me in a way, and that's really fine, but it doesn't rule my life, and reading The Island has reinforced that feeling, as for the last few weeks I have been struggling with pain and lack of cooperation from my limbs.

Anyway, to conclude, great book, read it if you can. She has only ever written 3 books in total so far, and I am just about to read the second, but the first book was so well written, rehearsed, researched, and reflective, that I have high hopes for the next one.

I'll let you know anyway.

Bye for now

xx

Frustration!

This post will be boring as hell to read for anyone who doesn't know what this is like, but...

I'm feeling so frustrated today! My hand has gone from not being TOO bad to being unusable within the space of 2 weeks, and its starting to really hurt! I have whats called a Second Skin splint, but its not supporting my arm enough! To top all that off, I tried to get a dr appointment, but because its summer and they have never heard of a locum dr, there aren't any appointments for a week...
I then tried to contact the hospital, the physio, who is off today, so still no further forward and they couldnt even get an appointment with the consultant for the next 2 months. I don't know what to do!!

Work this week has been tiring and difficult, but I'm glad to be back earning more money and giving my brain something to do. It feels like I've never been away, the amount of times I heard my name yesterday was ridiculous!! I'm sure I should be getting paid more... I also passed my 3rd Unit of my Team Leading course the other day.

This weekend, I have a weekend full of cricket! England v Austrailia is coming to Durham, and I'm really looking forward to it, then Durham Dynamos play in a T20 game on Sunday. Hoping that this helps the tension pass!

Anyway, off to get another cup of tea and watch daytime tele!

In a bit!

xx

Hi ho, hi ho...

...Its back to work I go!

Day one over, and relieved, stressed and tired all at the same time.

After 2 months off, I got to work at 8.30 (after only waking up an hr before) and got straight on with sorting out the mess that has been created since I've been away. Fixing MIS systems and changing spreadsheets is my future...

Before today, had a very busy weekend.

Friday I went to my best friend Jill's house where we watched Harry Potter (Chris banned me from watching it, so I had to see it one day!) and then started on Lord of the Rings with a dominoes pizza (which was relatively cheap since we found a 40% off voucher) before I came back home.

Saturday, my nephew and Godson turned 4. He had a party, where I went for a few hours. Lots of people there who I dont really know so I came back home.

All over the weekend my hand has been playing up and feeling like its one thing after another at the moment. Going to contact my consultant in a couple of weeks if it doesnt improve because its just getting in the way at the moment.

Anyway, off to eat some pancakes (nom nom) and getting another cup of tea :)

In a bit

xx